


Longing Beyond Our Spirits

by IceOnTheRoad



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 23:32:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8305465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceOnTheRoad/pseuds/IceOnTheRoad
Summary: When someone dies, for exactly 4 days, his spirit will remain in this world. He still sees you. He hates when you cry. So you need to be strong for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> a TaeHoon fic :) 
> 
> For a fic part of Winnerween, I just noticed it's not very Halloweenish OTL

[Day 1]

 

“Number 19!”

 

Seunghoon walked over to get his two turkey sandwiches with a side of caesar salad, and carried it over to the table where Taehyun was waiting.

 

“Food is finally here? I got tired of waiting.” Taehyun said as he put on a sulky face.

 

“Ehh Why would you ever get tired of waiting when you could stare at my face?”

 

Taehyun chuckled as he hit Seunghoon on the shoulder. “Whatever. Lets eat!”

 

They both ate their lunch while staring lovingly into each other eyes. Anyone could tell they were in love: sweetly, passionately, and happily in love.

 

“Wah, it's pouring outside, I wonder if you can make it to the real estate office in time,” Taehyun said as he was cleaning up the wraps and empty coffee cups.

 

“Why? Worried you won't get the house you wanted? Ayye Nam Taehyun, were not even married yet and you’re already showing your true self”

 

“Hmph, who needs you you to buy a house!”

 

Seunghoon laughed, he loved teasing Taehyun, and especially loved seeing his reaction.

 

As He took all the trash they had to throw it away, Seunghoon stared out the window for a minute.

 

“Hey, Taehyun-ah, let's go for a walk”

 

“What? In this pouring rain? No way!”

 

“Too late!”

 

Seunghoon took his hand and taehyun unconsciously interlocked their fingers. Before he knew it, he was already outside, stepping through puddles as their hair got drenched in the heavy raindrops that fell.

 

“See, isn't this fun?”

 

“Don't you see there's no one outside right now? You’re crazy.”

 

“Who needs the rest of the world when I have you?”

 

Taehyun blushed. They continued to stroll along the sidewalks of the huge city.Heavy rain continued to fall, but the warmth they gave one another was much more powerful than rain. Taehyun knew that this was why he was still alive. To be able to have moments of happiness like this. To be able to live for each other in world that lived for themselves.

 

“It's almost time, we better get going”

 

\------

 

 

After Seunghoon and Taehyun went home and dried up, they both went to the real estate office. Seunghoon drove, while taehyun sat in the seat beside him. The storming weather, which included heavy rain, harsh wind, and lightning made the traffic even worse than usual in the busy streets of Seoul.

 

The ride took longer than they expected, so they hurriedly parked the car and rushed to the building which was less than around a block away.

 

“1876. Well it’s the right building alright...”

 

Both taehyun and Seunghoon scanned the building in disbelief. At around 6 stories tall, it was far from the skyscraper they imagined. Not to mention, the building looked old and worn down.

Realizing that they were out of time, they left their spare thoughts and hurriedly entered the building. Walking into the lobby, Taehyun suddenly stopped..

 

“Hey! You don’t have follow me all the way up there, you know. You have to go buy our furniture!” he said.

 

Seunghoon couldn't help it. He wanted to stay with Taehyun as long as possible. They’ve been together for so long, but still, Taehyun was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

 

“Fine, but at least give me a hug!”

 

Seunghoon pulled Taehyun in for a tight hug, with one hand on Taehyun's head and the other on his waist as he held him in an embrace, that lasted around 3 seconds until taehyun realized that people were staring at them. He got embarrassed and pushed Seunghoon away, but Seunghoon just took that opportunity to bring him in for a light kiss.

Finally realizing they were running late, they parted. Taehyun quickly walked away towards the elevator, and Seunghoon watched him lovingly.

 

The elevator was as old as the building, it looked unstable and rusty, but Taehyun held no thoughts and hastily pressed the button because he was running late. The elevator opened, so taehyun entered.

 

It shut closed and Taehyun pressed the button for level five,where the office was at. Even as the doors were closing, he heard creaks, which made it was slightly unsettling. The elevator started to go up, but then things started to feel weird. He saw a quick flash through the crevices. The elevator was slowing down. It shook. It stopped. A few seconds later he heard the delayed sound of thunder.

 

“Oh no,”

 

Taehyun heard snaps one after the other, one by one. Every time he heard a snap, the elevator became even more unsteady.

 

He frantically tried to press the emergency button, but it wouldn't work. Everything was down. At this point he didn't dare to move. He was afraid that one slight movement could make everything snap.

 

“No. no. this couldn't be happening to me.” He thought. “HELP. SEUNGHOON HELP ME.”

 

Taking out his phone, he rushed to dial 11--

 

*snap*

 

\------

 

 

After seeing Taehyun enter the elevator, Seunghoon smiled and turned around toward the direction of the exit. He took out his phone and decided to text Taehyun.

 

“What do you want for dinner tonight?”

 

Seunghoon was full of thoughts for dinner. “Since Taehyun can't eat seafood, steak maybe?” Well, Seunghoon laughed endearingly, he knew Taehyun secretly liked anything he made.

 

BOOM.

 

Seunghoon dropped his phone. He was frozen for a two seconds.

 

No. It couldn't be.

 

He ran over as fast as he could towards the elevator, to where he last saw Taehyun entered. He saw huge piles of crushed metal, wood, and other objects that were pieces of a collapsed elevator. And it had to be the elevator taehyun was on.

 

NOO! NO!

 

Seunghoon got on his knees, sobbing as he tried to remove the remnants one by one,  practically throwing himself in that pile. He was screamed in disbelief.

 

\------

 

Friends showed up to comfort Seunghoon, but he wanted nothing more than to go home. Actually, what is home without the person he loved the most being there? He was tired. He just wanted to go to sleep, or even better, an eternal one. Reality was too harsh. waking up will be even harder. Everyday realizing again and again that Taehyun won’t be there. They can no longer eat breakfast together. They can't go to coffee shops together. They can't dance in the rain together.

 

Walking to where his car was at, he couldn't help but notice everyone around him, unlike before. Everyone was normal. Is that was the word to describe it? Moving on with their daily lives, some were happy, some were angry, some were somber.

 

And Seunghoon hated it. He just lost the love of his life and people around him are acting like nothing ever happened. But he couldn't blame them. They didn't know. Even if they did, nothing would change. People could sympathize, but they couldn't empathize.

 

Tears welled up his eyes. He couldn't stand it. He wanted to escape his surroundings as soon as possible. Seunghoon rushed to his car and drove to his apartment.

 

\------

 

He tried to get up, feeling perfectly fine. Taehyun wondered what he was doing at Seunghoon's house. One moment and all the memories flushed weight into him.

 

He looked at his own hands “What is this?”

 

In attempt to think straight, Taehyun walked into the bathroom wanting to splash his face to clear his minds.

 

He walked in, but then fell in shock.

 

“Really, What is this.”

 

He couldn't see himself in the mirror at all. What’shappening? And then it all processed to him. “I can't believe it. Am I a ghost?”

 

What was weirder was that he couldn’t touch the mirror either. Or anything else around him.

 

In attempt to get up, he pushed his hand against the bathroom floor tiles, but he felt something else too, a piece of rolled paper. Taehyun unrolled it, and there were two words written on the piece of paper.

 

 

_4 days_

 

“Where did this come from?” Taehyun thought. But then he noticed the door unlocking.

 

He immediately ran back out to the living room. Who else could it be but Seunghoon? As the door opened, Taehyun recognized that tall height and slim body. He ran and attempted to hug him.

 

But he couldn’t.

 

Taehyun had both arms out, running toward Seunghoon, only to pass right through. The situation felt unbelievable.

 

Then Taehyun noticed something. Seunghoon looked odd. He looked lifeless. Taehyun noticed something else. He was the same.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing out his eyes. Taehyun still couldn't believe what was happening. Seunghoon, of course couldn't tell that he was there. He just slowly and quietly walked into his room. Taehyun of course followed.

 

Seunghoon could barely open the door to his bedroom without his hand trembling. He got in, and threw everything to one side. Seunghoon then just dropped on the floor. After a long dya, there was finally no one else around. He was finally alone. He broke down.

 

“I should've never let him go. I should've been the one on that elevator.”

 

Taehyun knelt down right beside him. He wanted to tell him not to cry. He wanted to tell him that he was there doing just fine. But Taehyun couldn't be seen, and he couldn't be heard.

Most of all, Taehyun wanted to hug him. It's been such a scary day for him too. Taehyun was still traumatized from the last minutes of his life, although thinking about the fact that he's not alive now seems unbelieveable. There was nothing he could do except for sitting beside Seunghoon on the cold wooden tiles of his room.

 

Taehyun was just staring at Seunghoon and that warm body he wanted to embrace so much, but couldn't. Seunghoon looked, as well, broken. He was still shaking with his head down against his left knee.

 

“I want to hug him so bad.”

 

Taehyun regretted pushing seunghoon away because of embarrassment this morning. If he could turn back time, He would never let him go.

 

Taehyun continued to stared at Seunghoon, and felt frustrated, more frustrated than ever. The person he loved the most was right in front of him, in pain. The person who he wanted the most to be happy, was suffering, and yet, and yet….

 

Taehyun couldn’t do anything but watch.

 

Both of them laid there, curled up, both not knowing how the face the future that lies ahead. With tears silently rolling down their eyes, They sat together, both more alone than they have ever been. Unconsciously, Taehyun and Seunghoon cried themselves to sleep

 

\------

 

[Day 2]

 

As the sun rises, Taehyun opened his eyes because of the sunlight shining in his eyes. He quickly scanned the room, only realizing a second later that Seunghoon was till next to him. Also right next to him, was another small note.

 

 

_3 days_

 

With his attention back on Seunghoon, Taehyun noticed that he was already awake. But he also noticed that he hadn’t moved at all. He was just there. There was no life in Seunghoon. There was no longer a spark in his eyes.

 

Finally, Seunghoon got up. He left the room, heading towards the living room. Taehyun got up and followed him. He reached his hand out to open the door--

 

But wait.

He could actually touch it this time.

 

“This is weird”  Taehyun thought.

 

He clearly remembered that all things went through him yesterday. Or did they? Was he just hallucinating? Did he remember wrongly because of the many things happened yesterday? Well it didn’t matter. It wasn’t important. What’s important is that Seunghoon was heading out the door at that moment and Taehyun needed to follow him.

 

Taehyun had to figure out a way to get into the car. He took the opportunity when seunghoon opened the door to dive into the car, and crawled to the next seat.

 

“This is so embarrassing.”

 

It was one of the only moments he was glad he couldn’t be seen.

 

\------

 

Seunghoon drove to a nearby cafe to buy sandwiches for breakfast, then went back into the car. He just wanted to go on a long quiet drive. He wanted to escape from the world surrounding him that gave nothing more than longing memories.

 

Taehyun, of course, was sitting next to him all along. The more he stared at Seunghoon, the more painful it was for both of them.

 

“You’re so stupid! Why are you acting like this?! I know why, but… It’s just making you suffer.”, Taehyun shouted, while running his hand through his hair in anger.

 

Taehyun knew Seunghoon couldn’t hear him, but it still pains him to see Seunghoon not having a single reaction to all the words he says, and still driving lifelessly, like for the past half hour.

 

The sunny day outside couldn’t negate the despair which filled the small white car that carried one body, and one spirit. Seunghoon and Taehyun were only one seat away from each other, yet they were a world apart.

 

\------

 

[Day 3]

 

“It’s already been three days since that accident happened.” Taehyun thought. He held out his hands and looked at them. “ It’s been three days since I died…”.

 

As usual, Taehyun found the small note again. This time, as he guessed, it said :

 

 

_2 days_

He could guess what this note had meant.

“I don’t have much time left.”

 

Seunghoon was doing a lot better today it seemed. His eyes was still lifeless, but at least he was making breakfast again.

 

After he fried the eggs, Seunghoon tipped it onto the plate, and turned around to grab his utensils, almost touching the still hot frying pan as he turned back.

 

‘WATCH OUT!” Taehyun yelled unconsciously

 

Seunghoon dropped his utensils to the floor.

 

“Who was that?!” Seunghoon said while he warily scanned the house.

 

No way.

 

Taehyun covered his mouth with his hands in shock. “ There was no way he could’ve heard me. It must’ve been a coincidence”

 

“Seunghoon,”  Taehyun called out.

 

But Seunghoon heard it again. And this time, he could recognize this voice. It was definitely Taehyun’s.

 

Seunghoon fell to the ground.

 

“Ahh, have I finally gone crazy?” He said. “Even hearing things now. When can it engulf me already? I just want to stop.”

 

Taehyun wanted to respond, but why was it so hard to even say a word? He used all his strength to speak.

 

“You’re not crazy” Taehun said as tears, again rolled down his eyes. “I’m right here.”

 

“Shit. I’ve become a maniac. Taehyun-ah, why am I missing you so much?” Seunghoon said.

 

“Oh Gosh!! Seunghoon, You’re not hallucinating. I’m actually right here, I’ve been following you since the day the accident happened, although you can’t see me…”

 

And so Taehyun explained everything.

 

At this point, Seunghoon broke into tears.

 

“I’m probably crazy, I probably am imagining your voice which isn’t really there. But why does it all sound so real? Am I just hoping that, perhaps, by chance, this is actually you. That you’re actually right here, still beside me.”

 

“Because I am real.” Taehyun replied, knowing too well that he could do nothing to convince him so. Even to himself, this situation was absurd.

 

“Alright then. I’ll be crazy just for today. Because even if it’s less than 1%, there's a possibility that you might be real, so I’ll believe. Or maybe it's just that I too, want to stop suffering.“

 

Taehyun and Seunghoon spent the rest of the day talking about the world around them, about their past, about the future. With light topics and small chuckles, just for this one day, they forgot about everything, and together, dreamed.

 

\------

 

[Day 4]

 

Once again, Taehyun woke up, with Seunghoon by his side, but still asleep. And once again he sees a small note that laid beside him.

 

 

 

_1 Day_

 

He could more or less feel what was coming, although he secretly hoped it wouldn’t happen. He looked back at Seunghoon, who was still sleeping. Why did he have the privilege to get to get to look at the face of the one he loved most, and yet Seunghoon couldn’t?  He continued to lie there staring painstakingly at seunghoon, while remembering the slight moments of happiness yesterdays conversation held.

 

Seunghoon finally woke up, and the first person he sees when he opened his eyes was none other than Taehyun.

 

WAIT. WHAT?

 

Seunghoon fell off the bed onto the wooden floor. He could not believe his eyes

 

Taehyun couldn’t believe his either. Why did it seem like Seunghoon could see him?

 

Because he could.

 

Seunghoon was still in shock, with his eyes watering up.

 

Unable to move, Seunghoon thought that he was slowly losing his mind, today becoming even crazier than yesterday.

 

“No way. You can see me?” Taehyun was sitting on the bed in shock

 

No, it was too real to be a hallucination.

 

Seunghoon ran over and hugged him. He wrapped his arms tightly around Taehyun, and Taehyun returned it. Whether this was reality or just a dream, They both couldn’t be happier than this moment.

 

“I said that if I had the chance to hold you I will never let you go again.”

 

“ I know.”

 

Hours passed by as they silently locked each other in embrace. Then Seunghoon finally started to loosen his grasp, still firmly holding on to Taehyun’s hand.

 

“We shouldn't stay here all day. Let’s go out for a bit,” he suggested.

 

“Okay.”

 

\------

 

Seunghoon drove Taehyun to his favorite restaurant and together, they walked in.

 

“Table for two?” the waitress asked.

 

“Yes please.” Taehyun replied.

 

Seunghoon wasn’t usually an emotional guy, but again his eyes started to swell up.

 

“You aren't just part of my imagination. You're actually here. I'm so glad.”

 

Taehyun smiled.

 

“Hmph, I told you, but you didn’t believe me.”

 

“Mhmm, I was wrong. So let’s go eat now”

 

\------

 

After their meal, they wandered endlessly hand-in-hand across large city streets. Afterwards, they decided to visit a more serene place.

 

\------

 

Seunghoon and Taehyun took off their shoes and stepped into the cooling sand of an evening day. The ocean breeze that was felt refreshed their whole bodies. Taehyun and Seunghoon found a place right in the middle of the beach and sat down.

 

They watched the sunset together, treasuring every second that passes by. None of them dared to say anything, but a thought still lingered in both of their minds:

 

Happiness doesn't last forever.

 

“Hey,” Taehyun said. “If by chance, I have to leave again, I want you to know that more than anything else in the world, I want you to be happy.”

“That won’t happen. I promised you that I won’t ever let you go again.”

 

“ I know. It's just that if, you know, by chance…

 

Anyway, look at the stars! They're beautiful.”

 

Before they knew it, the Sun had already set, leaving the dark sky with beautiful lights that shone upon the world.

 

“They are, but they’ll never be as beautiful as you.” Seunghoon said cheekily.

 

“Why are you being so cheesy?” Taehyun shouted, being once again embarrassed.

 

They both bursted out into laughter.

 

“So this is how it was, huh. I almost forgot.” Seunghoon said.

 

He looked into Taehyun’s eyes, and Taehyun could see it, the spark that Seunghoon regained in his eyes.

 

They leaned in closer, for a sweet kiss that lingered until Taehyun saw his last note that laid on top of the sand, right in his line of sight.

 

Happiness couldn’t last forever.

 

 

 

 

_time’s up_

 

Taehyun face turned pale.

 

“What’s wrong?” Seunghoon asked.

 

Something was definitely wrong. And it happened right in front of their eyes

 

Taehyun seemingly started to fade. His body started to get lighter. He started to become transparent.

 

“No. Please, No. I can’t go now. Why?”

“NO. I won’t let you leave, I can’t let you disappear.”

 

Seunghoon hugged Taehyun as tight as he could. Once more, tears were running down both of their faces. Taehyun hoped that time would freeze right at that moment. He hated that he could take the easy route of disappearing ending all thoughts while Seunghoon had to live on with the lingering memories that could not be escaped from.

 

“Sorry. I’m sorry. That I couldn’t hug you for even a minute more. Maybe then it wouldn't have turned out this way. I’m sorry, so please don't leave me alone!” Seunghoon said as he shivered while trying to hold onto taehyun.

 

“I’m sorry. That I couldn’t give you more happiness. That I had to leave early. That I’ll probably cause you to suffer. But please, my wish is for you to be happy.

 

I’m sorry.

I love you.”

 

Taehyun vanished right before Seunghoon's eyes, and Seunghoon’s arms were no longer on Taehyun’s body, but were on the cold and empty air of the night.

 

“I LOVE YOU.” Seunghoon broke down. “So please, don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone”

 

Soon, Seunghoon was the only person, and soul, left on that beach.

 

And to him, he was the only person left alone in this world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_I'm Sorry. I love you._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the ending seemed rushed, I had to write it on the day of the deadline T_T In fact, sorry for the whole story, It's very cliche, I know, but I liked the prompt, and I wanted to write something with it. Still, I hoped you enjoyed it:)


End file.
